Fall 2005 Batleth Tournament & Festival

AER: Fall 2005 Batleth Tournament & Festival

First item, note the name change. "Tournament and Festival"

We still very much had a Batleth Tournament. But we added many non-combatant events to turn this into an all day festival also. Attendance was great and we had representatives from many ships present. The bright colors of the outfits being worn during and after the "Treasure Hunt" really added to the "Festival" air. For the non-combatants, this was their time to shine.

We had guests representing the IKV Deliverance (TangQa), and the IKV Bayou Serpent (Ripar) for the klingon contingent. Liz arrived for the weekend to provide a Federation presence. Even the Dark Rabbit made a cameo. Although TangQa physically drove the greatest distance, he deferred the "Longest Distance Driven" award to Ripar with the statement, "I have attended so many Tournaments that I am one of the locals". K'vlar's buddy, K'akaraght, was there all weekend long helping out as Kbubble's manservant. Paq' Ryo was a guest this time as he is our new recruit and not fully established with the ship. K'akaraght and Paq' Ryo both worked very hard with the old hands to assemble items and later to take them down. Thank you guys for your efforts.

As to assembling things... This Tournament and Festival saw some additional assets acquired by the ship. As noted in prior emails, there is a new stage that is squad portable by hand, and will fit into nearly any cargo vessel. This is a "Force Projection" stage designed to last many events as well as being portable to other venues. A completely new scorekeeper's box went up. This is a full height, portable box arrangement that allows the scorekeeper to stand or sit on a stool and have a full desk area and sun/wind screening. The Ring was redesigned returning to a larger circle, but allowing for a protected camera pit. For the Festival, there was a large intricate *something* that was used in the games besides the projectile range for knife / tomahawk / archery. A paintball target shoot was built and placed on site. There was even a crude "shower" arranged to knock the sweat off. As the mad scientist Mel Brooks says to Kermit the Frog, "Are we dozing in Duesseldorf? Are we napping in Nuernburg? NO!".

To allow more time for non-combatant events, the Freestyle was dropped. This still left a glorious day of Batleth, Mekleth, and DaQtags. We had a mix of Virgins and old experienced hands. Hegh (His Honor is his Own), being a younger, old experienced hand pretty much cleaned house. However, the newbies got to cut their teeth (or get them bashed out) for the first time in a real Tournament arena. Batleth went smoothly. Mekleth had only one hiccup, but it otherwise went smoothly. DaQtags is where things got really interesting. Being of Celtic descent, Kmok and I wear kilts for real. We started the Celtic trend in the DaQtag fighting as it is now a trend. We stripped down to loincloths to fight with the DaQ's. Not exactly klingon, but very klingon. We wore paint and loincloths Fall 2004. Fall 2005, he chose to remain with trews since he did not wear his under-the-butt-nut-hut and took two bell ringers (one each? or two on one?), otherwise he would have worn his loincloth for knife fighting. I returned without the dead Hossempfeffer, but wore a fake cow. We added two new loinclothed Warriors (Ripar [blue] and RotokQ [digital cammo]). And even some of the women were taking off or changing their tops to show more skin for the paint at Tournament.
The fighting was glorious. Points were well earned. Newbies were blooded.

thlingon mah! kelt mah!

For the non-combatant Festival portion of the weekend, there was the return of the projectile weapons. Knife throw. Tomahawk throw. Javelin throw. Archery with a simple bow. Many had fun trying their skills. I think that TangQa took this one.

Then there was Vena, the Orion Slave Girl Pinata. Squeeze really knocked herself out with the pinata and its payload. As usual, it is a mixed ages pinata. With only 4 "kids" present, the adults almost had a chance to whack her, also. However, Vena fell apart on the second kid with Adam (the younger) knocking her down. Vena came off of the rope so she was drawn and quartered by the 4 children. Once the grisly deed was done, the tokens were announced for the larger items that could not fit into the payload. Of the (plastic) gold coins in the pinata, some were gold only, some were gold with a black dot, and some were gold with a red dot. The dotted coins were traded in for flight bottles of liquor or heavy prizes depending upon the color code. There were some beautiful etched glasses by the Squeeze and other items. The tiny tribbles were "specials" turned in for the more valuable payload items.

Door Prizes were given out all day long. There were knives, a sword, and various other door prize goodies. Lord Art managed to get the 3d leather trifoil. A 3D trifoil of boiled waxed leather inserted into a green leather base with a 24 karat gold circle around the blades. Kmok acquired an incredible glass etching. It was an etching of Lord Krell's picture from the San Antonio newspaper. It was lined in leather dyed and studded to match Krell's uniform and it has a 24 karat gold trifoil on his sash. Krell was used because he simply looks dashing. I understand that Kmok has traded it to Lord Krell. I hope so because it would be fitting.

There was also the glass head with ridges. It was filled with licorice jelly beans. You had to guess how many tribble turds were in the head to win the head. Dragen took it home.

Squeeze and Lynn collaborated to create an awesome treasure hunt. Imagine a local version of "The Amazing Race". There were tasks, roadblocks, clues, and you had to keep track of all of the questions and collect the items along the way. Crossword puzzle. Queen's Croquet as in "Alice in Wonderland". Getting water through a "cat's cradle" big enough to support two team members. Finding letters in Jello and doing math in the dirt. All a part of the game. Team Orange won and each member received a $10 gift card.

Ripar got Toyz R Us.
Gizmo took Home Depo.
Erin had to have the Half Priced Books.
Lance received Michaels.

Erin busted the final Clue and won the Treasure Chest itself. She was also kind enough to share it with her other team mates. Ripar took home a nice klingon figure. Lance received a matched set of Star Wars Pez dispensers. Gizmo acquired a few of the collectable Pez dispensers for himself.

The Ceremonies took place on our new stage. However, there was no bonfire for the second time at Kbubbles. Third time ever. Our part of this miserable planet is a little short on rainfall and the local authorities placed a burn ban for very good reasons. The Ceremonies were dedicated to Lord Kamin, our recently fallen shipmate. We did the traditional Death Howl for him, Scotty and Admiral Cartwright. Then we did "the Prayer".

At this point business began with Win/Place/Show and the weapons classes:

First Place Overall - Hegh
Second Place Overall - RotokQ
Third Place Overall - Dr. Gizmo

Bat'leth - won by Hegh
Mek'leth - won by Hegh
D'k Tahg - won by Ripar

First Blood was not awarded as nobody bled
First Broken Weapon was not awarded as none were broken for the first time

Lt. Cdr Ripar, as proxy for the Quadrant Commander, tapped both Gizmo and Krell to the rank of Lt. Commander. I just realized while typing this that we should have had him also pop Dragen and K'bech on the noggin' for their new uniforms. I suffered a rectocranial insertion and totally forgot to arrange this. My apologies to Dragen and K'bech.

The newly designated Order of Kamin was awarded to his parmachi, Gypt'ro.

We ended the Ceremonies with remarks and a dirge for our fallen Warrior, Lord Kamin.

Then it was time to take off the uniforms, dress comfortably, and party. With two party camps to travel between, and no bonfire, there were many milling between both party camps. Because many shirts came off, and some braver Women Warriors attempted to participate as practically as they could, it was noted at the Commons Party that Kmok and I should no longer be allowed to set fashion trends at Tournament. There was also plenty of commentary, joking and threats made about our recent TV interview on QTN's "QueerEdge". Down at the Kmok/Klevaj Party, I later heard rumors about a turtle chipmonk and a separate rolling ball of drunkness (a guest).
The Partying was great. Much fellowship and fun was had. Mild sprinkles at one point cause a minor panic as electronics and a few things had to be protected.

Sunday morning saw the usual teardown and cleanup. There was much more to teardown. But the actual "policing the grounds" cleanup was much easier than normal this time. All of this took place after a really fun game of "Swing Your Ding".

All in all, it was an excellent Tournament that went smoothly. We had too many events planned and ran out of daylight. But the planning and execution was there had the daylight been there. There was fun stuff to do all day long.

It was a Tournament and Festival.

Strength and Honor
Cdr. Salek, Sutai
Ship's Brewer, IKV Melota

The 2005 Tournament was glorious.

Before the sun could completely dry the morning dew warriors were up, armored, and preparing for battle. The combat was fierce and the wounds were few. (not to belittle Lord Krell's sore knoggin or my sore ****s which were already belittle enough)

Due to a "burn ban" the bonfire was nixed to the disappointment of us all. The torch-lit awards ceremony was still good. The memorial to Lord Ka'Min was tasteful. The Order of Ka'Min Award was introduced. This (as I understand it) is to be an annual award given to the one that the crew feels has displayed the most Honor.

The party Saturday Night will be discussed for years. The alcohol flowed. Even I, the ship's tea-totaller, got schnockered. More than one inbibed to the point of finding religion. I was quite touched as the faithful reverantly knelt before the porcelain throne of the god Ralph. Then, in devout reverance, cried out, "OH MY GAWD, RRAAALLLPPPHHHHH!!!!!!!...oh lord, oh lord." The devotional seemed to go on well into the morning. It is always uplifting to associate with such a spiritual people. hahahahahahahaha

There's a "Turtle Story" that could be inserted here but I'm sure that some of my brethren will write that one up before long.

Lt. Cmdr. K'Mok
Lord K'Mok, leader of the House K'Mok
The warrior unamused by Dragen's description of one of his opponents as:
"Jason B of house K'moch"
hmmm...now what seems to be amiss? (hehehe...just teasin' Dragen)

The Turtle has spoken.

Now for the official IKV Bayou Serpent report, takes a while for the bloodwine to wear off!

This past weekend, September 9-11, I represented the Bayou Serpent at the IKV Melota's fall bat'leth tournament south of Dallas. There was probably 30 something warriors there from the Melota, Deliverance and a few feddies. First came the bat'leth matches. I got knocked out first round by Salek's parmachi.

Mekleth came next with me making it to the next to the last round.. D'ktahg came next for which I received 1st place. I also competed wearing only a loincloth for the dk'tahg match. Next came axe, knife and spear throwing along with archery that I didn't enter after having a few drinks of Salek's brew. Then came the ceremonies where I was awarded my trophy for dk' tahg and a pin for "furthest traveled" to reach the event and a death howl to honor fallen comrade Kamin of the Melota, a knife was also given away in his name.

After that came the heavy drinking and partying that I've come to expect and admire from the Melota guys. I had a great time, sorry to those who missed out. The Melota will be in our area (Choudrant,LA) for the 2nd annual Venom Wars paintball war Oct 14-16. You won't wanna miss it!

Lt Cmdr Ri'Par vestai-bortaS
IKV Bayou Serpent CO
Dk'tahg Champion

My first tournament was a blast! Although I won't sit straight for a month, thanks to Shane and James.

The honor was bestowed upon me of judging this glorious event, to whomever was responsible for giving me the chance, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I loved every second of my newfound power, I hope I did an okay job, and would love to be given the same honor at our next tourney.

You men and your loinclothes!! I blushed SO bad, and I still feel a little flushed even writing about it! Next year I just might allow my daddy to open fire on yall! For shame polluting my innocent mind!

The Saturday Night party was something else and as I was granted to honor to assist in the "baby-sitting" of Adam (Mr. Chip Turtle-Munk) and Paul (The Rollin' Ball of Drunkness) I will be more than glad to fill anyone interested in on the details to include Denise gettin' out the rope! Adam, you are an awesome drunk, and your laugh alone nearly made me pee myself. Don't forget to sing to me!!

Love you all and will be forever your slave,


My first tournament of any kind: Where to start? It was fun, and I am very proud of myself for the fact that I did NOT goose egg the entire tournament thing. 6 points: I can live with that.
As for the overall experience: The combat was good, if a bit lopsided at times. The camping areas and all were extremely pleasant. Dragen was in the very first combat of the day, fairly matched experience level with Jason B of house K'moch. I must admit though: The psychological feel of combat vs. weekly practice takes a bit of geting used to, but look out at next tournament: One way or another I plan to be the one to beat (Or at least one of the ones to beat). Jason B. took the round, but worked for it. Hegh did end up winning Batleth of course.
As for Mekleth, remind me to never face rotokq with double mechs again. I faced Hegh/James, and was proud of myself for even getting one point against him. If I remember right, Hegh/James also took Mekleth too.
Now for dak. I was originally to face Lord Krell, but due to a really hard head shot recieved in Mekleth he had to sit out, so I Faced Salek. Salek won by a half point, but considering he was taught by Lord Krell I am well pleased. Shane, from the IKV Bayou Serpent, took Dak (Much to Shelley's dismay). As for the loincloth thing, NO MORE: I am scarred for life now.
Overall, it was a pleasant experience. If and when any changes need to be made in the workings of future tournaments, they should be discussed in the proper place and time. Not in an AER. I had alot of fun.


(This is an exerpt from my online journal....)

Last weekend was a blast! And I'm not just saying that, I really REALLY needed this weekend alot. ....Saturday morning, Becca picked me up in her truck and we were off. We had a bad set of directions, but we finally made it. The tournament was at a house built into a hillside with land big enough for free range camping and a tournament ring. We got there just in time to sign up. I got Shelly to spray my head RED for a wild effect. Apparently there was another Jason, so they numbered us off. I was "Jason 53". As far as fighting...I think I did pretty well for my first time. Infact, they first put me up against James, (one of the best) and atleast I got in a half point, LOL. Apparently they've had a bad run in with people who can't be good sports and run off angry if they never win their first tournament, so for hours I kept getting pats on the back and asked if I was ok, but I reassured them I was just here for fun. That seemed to have open the doors for me real big. I was also enjoying my position as videographer while filming the fights, sigh, back in my old days I loved having a camera in my hands.
The tournament was fun filled and rememborable. It consisted of three rounds for each weapon fought: batleth, matleth, and knives. Shane, Krell, and James were the top contestants...but Shelly stole everyone's attention when she was out for blood...lol, everyone was especially hoping she'd use secret weapons!! Later that day the groups gathered with friends and families for a BIG treasure hunt, and let me tell you...with only being thought of, budgeted, and built by three or four people...that treasure was one of the BEST I'd ever seen.
I really have to take my hat off to them. There were groups of four who ran around looking for clues and stopping at games sites like alice in wonderland crocket with blow up flamingos, star trek crossword puzzles, sticking your hand in a box of slimy jello and pulling out letters to spell klingon words, rope games to pass water from one end to the other, ETC. There was also an Orion Slave girl pinata for children and adults. Adults traded gold tokens for bottles of alcohol and glass ware. I won a bottle and a glass mug etched with a bird of prey. I also bribed a kid with a golden token for $3 and my klingon pin so I could get the big prize...a glass candle holder that someone would etch whatever I wanted. My first idea was YIN YANGS...but soon after, I offered her to make something very special for the family of Effrain, who passed away the week before.
That night was the closing ceromonies as awards were given in full klingon outfits. There was also a moment of rememberance for Effrain. Unfortunately, the BIG Sonic Bondfire that was promised was cancelled due to a fire ban that weekend. The land was too dry for too long. Oh well, the night was still filled with fun after the kids were tucked in and the adults played hard. LOL I'll leave that to your imaginations. I got to have long-interesting talks with Klue about paranormal, renaissance, sci video series, HIDDEN FRONTIER, and so much more. He seemed cool and he has invited me to join a ren-group that meets not 2 miles away from my place. I promised I would come out one of these weeks.
The next day we ended the weekend with an erotic game of SWING YOUR DING (an orange stuffed down pantyhose wrapped around your waiste to swing at another orange and hit it down the race track. I won one round and may have ben the fastest across, lol. They mocked my calm control of my "swing". LOL. Then it was time to breakdown everything and I enjoyed helping out. At the very end I was invited into the hill house to take the sci fi tour. Once we walked around to the front of the house I noticed a large web above the doorway and noticed an extremely large black and yellow spider. Well, I couldn't take my eyes off it cause it looked like a toy, until it moved and I nearly grabbed a flame thrower. The thing was easily the size of my hand. The house owners told me they grow that big alot out here in the wild. Aftwards, Shelly drove me home and I zonked out for hours before karaoke that night. Thanks again for a great time Shelly and Krell.

Ka' Pla!

Paq' Ryo

Well, I finally have time to get to this. Hope I remember enough of it.

Got in late Friday night, and thanks to all who helped me get set up. Damn, it sure was hot.

Saturday dawned bright and cheereful. Looked like a glorious day. And it was already hot. I'm glad I brought several "Gatoraides". Most everyone was up and around getting ready for the day. Unpacked my tourney weapons, and readied myself for battle.

The tourney started pretty much on time. We had quite a number of warriors, old and new. Ri'par had come on Friday, and was there for the whole tourney. Great warrior. Didn't get to meet him in the ring either. I didn't do so well this time. But then, MY event was replaced with the scavenger hunt. For me personally, I would have liked facing others in the ring with my halbard, but the game was incredably fun and I'd give up freestyle again to play Donna's brain child game anytime. Kudo's Donna. Qa'pla!!! For the new warriors, great day and glory to you who fought. It takes courage to step into the ring, and you all showed your true Klingon heart. We didn't get to do the Klingon javalin game. Would have liked to have done that.
The evening ceremonies was done solemly and reverently. We will miss our brother greatly. Many thanks I have for Lord Kamin for the suggestion of the spear. Many thanks to my brother Krell who made it. I am honored to be counted among his friends, and I shall treasure his memory. I was asked to make a statement for K'bubbles on her behalf for Lord Kamin. A great honor it was for me. I just hope I did it well enough. Krell wants to perform a Ruustai' ceremony and has asked me to stand in for Kamin. It will be an honor anytime for me to do this. We put this off, since Rose is still so close to this. I will ask to be Kamin's cha'DIch when the time comes. As I have told her, my honor is his honor, my glory is his glory. I will perform the Ruustai' in his stead and seal the family lines together.
The after ceremony party started, and most of us were pretty subdued. Mainly the heat. It was just too hot to be too active, and the drink warmed the blood. I enjoyed the visit at the upper camp. It was fun to meet and listen to Shelley's stories. I was pretty much wore out with short sleep and the heat. I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I was trying to stay awake.
Well, most everyone at the upper camp started to go to bed, I thought I'd wander down to the lower camp. Enjoyed visiting with Rose and Denise. I heard the chip-turtle-munk and saw him poke his head out of his shell. I even saw the Native American side of Denise come out when she got her rope. All for a good cause. After that I went to bed myself.
Got up Sunday with a heavy heart because I knew I had to leave. That is the worst thing when I come to these events. I hate to leave such good company. I tried to help pick up, and then packed my own stuff. Tried to say my goodbye's with a good heart. And, made my way back home.
Looking forward to the next one, but hopefully more toward the cooler parts of the year. Oh well, I'd come to one in the middle of high summer if that was when you would have held it.

tangqa' the sweaty
X.O. IKV Deliverance


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